Chuck Norris!!

Aqui fica uma compilação pessoal relativa aos factos sobre o Ranger do Texas que com os seus variados dotes desarmava e matava apenas com o pé e o ocasional punho 4 ou 5 gajos armados e aos tiros contra ele...bons tempos...

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He Waits.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!



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